Outpour

So much on my mind lately, am going to vent some on here but will try not be too complain-y as I know it's not fun reading girls complain heaps.

Firstly, Facebook.
It's safe to say for me that I'm pretty addicted to it as I tend to check it multiple times each day. In saying that though, I have gone days and even weeks without it before and haven't really missed it because I've been otherwise occupied. I guess I just go on to keep up with the haps, coz I'm really nosy and coz I'm bored/procrastinating. HAH just went on again. But more often than not I really despise it. It gets frikn depressing when those rich, Havelock North girls constantly post pics of their oh-so-glamorous lives (eating at flash restaurants all the time, drinking fancy cocktails, casually hopping over to oz, partying at their richie rich Auckland/Wellington flats, always being suh fashionable etc etc). And those people who are always partying and seem to have the most amazing social lives and look good in every single photo. And those people who are always becoming friends with new people, when you haven't had a friend request in weeks/months. Then there's those annoying people who update their status' like 20x per day, and those people who put 'meaningful' quotes as their status, that really bugs me, like they're trying to be all deeeeeeeeep.
Don't get me wrong, there are those blessed souls who actually make the visit worthwhile, those who put crack up status' up and share interesting links and who you actually want to keep in contact with etc etc. But generally speaking, Facebook sucks. So tempted to delete my account, or at least have a massive purge and get rid of all the people I don't actually care about, which would leave me with maybe 50 friends. And that's another thing, Facebook can be cruel fuel for one's insecurities, when you don't have as many friends as other people, when no one writes on your wall etc etc. And I know you may be thinking that if I feel this way it's my own fault, and yes I know that's the case. But this is my blog and I can write what I want and you can hate if you want, whatever.
First rant over.

Secondly, Food.
Body image/exercise/eating/comparing oneself to all other living beings on earth/failing constantly at goals you set yourself/trying to eat healthily....constantly plagues my mind. What I think about most. Sad eh? I have this one friend who has got the whole 'healthy lifestyle' thing down pat, and that's something I'm insanely jealous of, I just can't seem to get into it. Don't wanna rant about that too much as I will just sound like a sad loser.
Second rant over.

Thirdly, Nek year.
So many people have been asking me what I'm gonna do next year and it makes me feel so lost and worried when I'm always answering with "I have no idea". I've tossed around a few ideas...move to Hamilton and work up there for a bit (way more opportunities there and I have friends and family there, but where would I live? Don't think I'd be able to live at home again, I'm too used to flatting now, but wouldn't really want to live with randoms), live and work wherever I can in Hastings for a year, but would I really want to live with the grandparents for a year (and they probably wouldn't want me there for a whole year) or in a flat with randoms?, move to Wellington and flat with my friend there (lots of media opportunities there and a pretty cool city but so ridiculously expensive - I can't fathom spending $180 a week on rent alone, esp without student loan!), flat with the sister and work in Hawke's Bay? But don't know if I would like to flat with my sister tbh!, stay in Palmy? Have a great flat here, but don't really want to stay here after finishing my studies!, move down South and flat with my friends in Dunedin? Very tempting, and lots of opportunities for work there, but then I'd pretty much have to start from scratch and sell all my furniture etc etc. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. This is becoming quite a source of worry/stress for me. All I know for sure is that I want to work full-time for a year and then head overseas. So insanely keen to travel. But then I'd have to have someone to travel with and none of the people I'd want to travel with seem to be keen or able to when I want to. Sigh.
Third rant over.

Wow. This is one heck of a depressing blog post. Guess you can tell I'm not in a great mood tonight.
Hope you're feeling happier than me.
xx